Epic. 'Nuff said.
Alright, I'm going to start with the pedantic parts because I have a pretty high standard set for your stuff now so I feel a need to point out the little faults constantly because they're what's letting you down more than anything else.
1-Spelling. There's still a fair few typo's in this, most of which Steph covered. Really, really consider finding a proofreader, I'm sure a fair few people in the club wouldn't mind just looking through it, because as I said last time and maybe the time before, it's such a simple thing to fix and so aggravating that it's still a problem in your flashes.
2-The advert in the corner. Quite distracting, it would have been nice for it to somehow be able to disappear if you clicked a button. I get wanting the impressions/exposure, but having that moving image in the corner really didn't help things.
That aside: Dude. So glad I found the RRC, because I'd've never found this otherwise.
Definitely one of the darkest episodes you have. With the kid, especially; most people tend to avoid the threat of infanticide, just because it's so much more disturbing and disgusting with murder, and so as soon as you see the frame on that wall, you start to get uneasy, very quickly.
The artwork, as always, was stunning. One favourite would probably be the frame with Colin explaining how he wouldn't help Mason, and despite the relative lack of colour you can really sense the emotion there...to be fair, it probably took Colin a lot not to kill this guy right in front of him, given what he'd done...though it's interesting that we don't know Mason's fate...yet. ;D Does he survive his horrible wounds in the end, does his kid manage to stay sane, will either try and find revenge? Either way though, nice batch of karma for him...to save his son's life, he had to relive Malik's horrible fate.
Even moreso that Colin didn't come clean with Malik about it. Maybe he realised Malik wouldn't take it all that well, and it's not like any of them really have much sanity to share between them...if anything, Mason was probably the most sane, because he'd managed to work past his past.
The standoff with Malik and Colin was really nicely done' you got to see that Malik's vendetta extended way past Colin's, almost past the point of sanity; with Mason alive, Malik could kill his child and have Mason have to bear the burden of being "responsible" for his sons death...but with Malik believing Mason dead, it just seems like he was taking his anger out on an innocent for no reason other than madness. The frame with Colin standing behind Malik is perhaps my favourite of the series; it kind of mirrors the one we saw a few episodes before with the detective, but this one is far more malicious.
Annd I'm running out of characters, so I will stop rambling. In general though, this was a kickass conclusion. And yet again, you have an epic cliffhanger...as if people needed an extra reason to want to see Act 3.
You tied up a lot of loose ends, but there's still a few fates left uncertain and a few questions left unanswered. Can't wait for act 3, I'm almost curious to see if you can get even darker than you did here. Really, excellent, excellent work. You created a total nightmare, and it's an awesome to read through. Recommending this to every horror fan I know...now.
-Review Request Club
This review was epic as always...
I'm going to start working on the third act tomorrow.
I hopefully should get at least one chapter of the last act done before I head out on my business trip :)
Thanks again your reviews in particular have been very helpful!
Review Request Club
Really nicely done, overall. Obviously there's a great amount of work that's gone into this, and that's definitely to be commended. And a fair few of these were really outstandingly done, which is always nice to see.
Like a couple of other people have said, I think maybe if there was some kind of theme to follow or vague story to base a flash on this would have been a little more coherent...not that this is bad for not having pieces related to eachother, but I think having a theme other than what it's 'drawn' on may be an idea to consider.
I liked the music, but it drowned out the one or two flashes which had sound effects, so I think either you should have not had sound effects, or had the music turned down a little for the ones WITH sound effects, so people could hear what was being said a little more. Or even just a mute music button would've been good, because while the music's alright, it may not be to everyone's taste, and no-one complains about having a mute button available.
Really nicely done, overall. Congrats on the daily first, and guess we'll see you next year for Collab '11? :)
Yay, number 4! It'll be interesting to see how you can tie up all (or maybe just most) of the loose ends of this chapter in these next two episodes without it sounding to long-overdrawn-explanation-y. Because you answered a lot of questions with the last episode, but opened up a whole set of new ones at the same time, so I'm hoping to see a few of those cleared up here.
On the first run-through, I can see a lot of improvements from last time; the speech bubbles kind of come in one after the other, so your eyes know what parts to read first so the story flows well together, and there's no obviously noticeable typos in the speech, which is nice, because it means crazy grammar pedants like myself can enjoy the rest of the story, xD Though I did pick up on three which my mind feels obliged to tell you about:
"And the man with the serpents smile..."--There should be an apostrophe in serpent's.
"Mason left, and Malik, and I were left in the hands..."--You don't need the comma between 'Malik' and 'and I'
"Now 3 decades later, I'm at Masons door"--There should be an apostrophe in Mason's.
Anyway. Still really liking the artwork! The way it's mostly black-and-white, but with the odd splashes of colour in the red blood and green uniforms kinda gives it this dark film noir edge that I really like. It also makes me think that maybe in the future (Perhaps the third chapter?) you could play with colour a little bit more, maybe even have some of the more crucial scenes in near-full colour, or completely devoid of it. Though I do really like this current aesthetic; it almost forces you to focus on the more gory aspects because your eye goes straight for the colour...which tends to be the colour of someone's open throat or something equally as delightful. The drawing between the panels does seem to vary more than somewhat, but it's not incredibly detrimental to the flash as a whole; the entire scenario's a little messed up and jagged, so I don't see why the drawing can't sometimes reflect the harsh mania of the reality.
The development of the storyline was really nicely done. It starts tying everything together; how they all met, why everyone's out to get Mason, why Malik is so very disfigured...
Though it does make me wonder. Scissors do seem to be the weapon of choice; with the man in the first episode, and with Malik here...they both seem to be going for the nose as well...perhaps there is a connection between the two? I almost get the feeling that Colin's going to be looking at an enemy who's not all quite there...but I guess that will (hopefully) be revealed in the chapter conclusion. This was probably one of my favourite parts of this chapter though, purely for the story arcs of it and how things have started to fall into place for the conclusion...though DAMN YOU for making another cliffhanger! :P You HAD to leave it right there, didntcha?
Anyway, I'll end my ramble there. Still very much enjoying this, looking forward to the conclusion of this and the beginning of chapter 3!
Your rambles are always fun, and informative!
I need to end with cliffhangers, or else people wont salivate over the next one :D
This one was definitely better than your other two recently-requested music videos...because this one seemed to follow the actual music more than somewhat :P Which made it a lot easier to follow than a whole bunch of unrelated clips, etc....because there was a link between what your eyes were seeing and what your ears were hearing and it all connected in a vaguely connect-y way.
The lip-syncing in this was again, a lot better...but some parts were better than others. There were sections where it looked like the characters were mouthing the words and some where they were just opening-and-shutting their mouths to indicate some form of speech, but nothing more advanced. Lip-sync is hard to get right, but adds a whole lot more to a flash when you do get it right because in itself it shows a lot of effort and skill on your part.
The drawing and animation in general was in a "parts could be better" kind of area, although some parts were comical in themselves; such as the character doing the crazy guitar solo just by moving his hands around randomly with the guitar. That's an instance in which simpler drawing/animation can be of benefit to you, because it can create something comical. I also liked the kind of morphing-text of the credits; that was a very nice touch.
oks great, thanks for the awesome review!
And are you going to vote for the Review request club awards?
You get like, 3 points straight off from using a RENT song. Love that musical.
It's kind of the same good points/issues as the "rama lama" flash you had; maybe a bit too long a song to just have a long series of unrelated animations, the drawing and animation could be a little better...but in this one, I noticed a lot more syncing than the last one. Maybe just because I know this song better, maybe because there was more syncing...xD But yeah, I liked how everything lines up a little more. Though I remember the frame regarding the "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation" coming in a little sooner than the lyrics in the song itself did, which was a little confusing, but not overtly so.
I think there's nothing wrong with doing these kind of videos, but given the amount of work you put into them I'd say that you might as well put in even more work just to get the drawing quality aspect up a few more notches, because like I said last time, it'd really help sell the flash as a whole if the drawing was really top-drawer stuff, and it makes it a lot easier to watch a random video when the drawings are nice to watch, y'know? Regardless, keep up the good work, nice to see you doing a lot of collabs and the like :P
yes we made fast music videos, they are not with a full motivation :p
Thanks for reviewing!
Well one thing I took away from this video is that you have a far more interesting real name than I do, ahahaha :P
This might have something to do with the fact it's about 6am here, but I found it kind of hard to follow...xD I mean, yes, it's random, it's meant to be pretty odd and out there in therms of cohesion, but given the sheer length of the song I think having your sections fit a little more, or tell more of a story would have helped a bit, because three minutesish of randomness can get a little excessive.
Drawingwise, there were some little clips that I really thought were drawn well, and a few others which were more simple/sketchy. Maybe focusing on fewer things, as Coop said, would have helped here just in terms of overall drawing quality (And as I said above, might've helped a little with the general progression of the video).
It's the same kind of story with the animation; some is good, some isn't as good. Which shows both that you've got the skill, but perhaps not the sheer perseverance to see it through every little scene; just getting everything on the same level, qualitywise, would have helped this a lot. All that pedantic stuff besides, I did find it quite funny for the first minute or so! ;D But more than that was a little much on the ol' sleep-deprived brain, lol xD
But you always succeed in making me laugh a little, which is never a bad thing. Keep it up man, nice to see the collab on this one. (:
"Well one thing I took away from this video is that you have a far more interesting real name than I do, ahahaha :P"
Lol whats wrong with my name! hahaha
"Drawingwise, there were some little clips that I really thought were drawn well, and a few others which were more simple/sketchy."
All of them are simple and sketchy hahaha
"It's the same kind of story with the animation; some is good, some isn't as good. Which shows both that you've got the skill, but perhaps not the sheer perseverance to see it through every little scene"
Haha yes but yes the animation was bad itself...
"But you always succeed in making me laugh a little, which is never a bad thing. Keep it up man, nice to see the collab on this one. (:"
Haha glad you laughed haha
thanks a lot for reviewing!
The drawing overall was very awesome, but there are parts which are of a slightly lower quality which detract from the flash in total; some of the backgrounds definitely needed more detail, in this aspect. In the same way, the animation in general is really top-notch, but there were some parts what seemed a little choppier than they needed to be, such as when you had the armymen 'charging' towards the main character, where it kinda looked more like it was flicking between two frames a little too much; but maybe that's just me. Though I really liked the ending scene, where the drawing style changes just as the axe starts coming down on the guy's head, because that felt really artistic and rounded off the cliffhanger nicely.
I think like most people, I had trouble hearing the voices. Just turning up the voice level in this would have been so much help because most of the time I couldn't decipher what they were saying. And/or having some sort of closed caption options, so those of us with messed-up hearing can at least read what's being said. That aside, I really like the stereo image you made, and the sound effects/music choices in general were all very nicely done.
Overall, this was a really good flash; definitely deserves a higher score than it has, but I definitely think that if you flicked the voices up a little next time around (as well as not having such an interval in between them :P) it'd pretty much be perfect.
Definitely better than your "frozen banana" flash.
It had a nice simple storyline which was executed pretty well. But in saying that, I think the slow-motion of the last scene was too slow; if you were going to spend about a minute of the flash having him fall, I would have expected something extra visually to come with it, like flashes of memories of better times or something, instead of just having him slowly slowly fall for so long.
I liked the switches between the still frames and the lightly-animated scenes; it kind of created a difference between how trapped he felt in his life and how free he felt when jumping. You could exaggerate that even further by maybe making the colours less vibrant when he's at his job, or even the drawing itself even more sketchy and just...desolate, I guess.
I think with the still frames you could have done with a little more detail, or just some little variations just so when it does repeat, it doesn't get a full feeling of repetitiveness, like it starts to here.
This definitely shows potential for the future though, so keep working at it.
:D i have potential ! yeay !
I think this definitely needs to be longer than it is. Especially as my point of comparison for loops like this is the Weebl videos (Such as badgerbadgerbadger), which are longer, involve more scenarios, slightly more lyrics...I get that loops like this kind of have a lease of being random and attemptedly funny for it, but I think just having two words for a song is trying to push it a bit too far.
but I think more than that, the drawings are slightly more detailed than they are here. I mean, the eskimo is fine, but the whale coming out of the hole seems underdrawn, and animation-wise nothing really moves in any overly complicated way, to the point where because there's no real change to the screen movements, you're forced to focus on the song for interest...which isn't a really good point to focus on.
I think it's good, and the skills are certainly there, but that if you spent more time thinking up different scenarios or just animating it a little more, it'd be a great improvement.
The drawing in general was alright, though some of the backgrounds were a little sparse. Loved the first background with the bullet-holes in the wall, would have been nice to see that extended to some of the other backgrounds. It's just those little details that can really help improve the submission. And you can also use it to add humour, such as the "Obviously not made in Uzbekistan" scrawled on the TV.
The animation again, was a little static. But the lip sync was a little better than last time, and the drawings themselves as well as the changes in scenes helped it be less of a problem than it was in one of your last flashes. Even just having a few arm gestures or people moving in the background would improve this flash greatly, and again can be a great scope for potential additional humour.
The humour there was was good...but maybe a little few and far between? You could have thrown a few more jokes in there, I think. And especially if you did a few joikes within the drawing and animations, this flash could have been even funnier. Though it definitely had its fun points...I'm not sure a single person wouldn't find the singing at the very start very much epic, and the jokes about the gold/cotton I found perhaps more funny than I should have. The laughing scene was perhaps a little overdrawn, but I guess that's a matter of perspective.
In general, there's a marked improvement on the last flash (The one based on 21 Guns is what I'm really linking to, here), so I'd just say keep going in this direction and you'll definitely keep heading in the right direction. just keep it up!
"the backgrounds were a little sparse."
Yeah i didnt care a lot about that.
"And you can also use it to add humour, such as the "Obviously not made in Uzbekistan" scrawled on the TV."
Yes that would help the backgrounds :P
"The animation again, was a little static. But the lip sync was a little better than last time, and the drawings themselves as well as the changes in scenes helped it be less of a problem than it was in one of your last flashes. Even just having a few arm gestures or people moving in the background would improve this flash greatly, and again can be a great scope for potential additional humour."
Yes it will improve a bit each time lol :P
"The humour there was was good...but maybe a little few and far between? You could have thrown a few more jokes in there, I think. And especially if you did a few joikes within the drawing and animations, this flash could have been even funnier. Though it definitely had its fun points...I'm not sure a single person wouldn't find the singing at the very start very much epic, and the jokes about the gold/cotton I found perhaps more funny than I should have. The laughing scene was perhaps a little overdrawn, but I guess that's a matter of perspective."
Yes a lot of people think that, but it has it stronges jokes :P
"In general, there's a marked improvement on the last flash (The one based on 21 Guns is what I'm really linking to, here), so I'd just say keep going in this direction and you'll definitely keep heading in the right direction. just keep it up!"
Oks thanks a lot for reviewing!!!
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